Shooting Its Way Into The #7 Position…
Video games based on movies are usually terrible. Movies based on video games are usually terrible. This is a universal truth, kind of like “Batman is better than Superman” or “Keanu Reeves has only one facial expression.” Okay, maybe it’s not quite that concrete of a rule, but it’s pretty damn close. As a movie, Goldeneye was good. Better than good, actually. It revived James Bond for the 90s, and brought the Bond franchise back to relevance after several less-than-stellar movies during the 80s. It’s too bad that Brosnan’s other Bond films weren’t anywhere close to as good as Goldeneye, but at the time we didn’t know the pain of Tomorrow Never Dies or Die Another Day. All we knew was that Bond was back, Xenya Onatop could kill a man with her thighs, and Sean Bean dies because that’s what Sean Bean does. Goldeneye as a film was rock solid entertainment. Goldeneye as a game? Well, it was beyond entertaining. It was a revelation.
SHOOTER. FIRST PERSON SHOOTER.
I remember getting Goldeneye for the N64 because a couple of my friends at school wouldn’t shut up about how awesome it was. I’d never actually played or even seen any game footage. After the first 15 minutes, I was impressed. After the first hour, I was hooked. And that was without anybody else playing the game with me. Goldeneye is mostly, (and justifiably), remembered for it’s multiplayer and the impact it had in that arena, but what gets lost sometimes is that, for it’s time, Goldeneye was a fantastic single-player FPS. The graphics were incredible for their time, the mechanics are still some of the best of any FPS from any era, and the adopted storyline from the film worked incredibly well both as a setting for the game and as a plot delivery mechanism. In short, it was pretty much anything you could want out of an FPS, particularly in 1997. Back then, Call of Duty and Halo were still distant dots on the horizon (Halo was released four years later in 2001, and Call of Duty wasn’t released until 2003.)
PROXIMITY MINES AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS IN THE STACKS.
My eye still twitches whenever I hear that particular combination of words. My buddy Dan made a career out of fucking annihilating anyone that was stupid enough, (i.e. ME), to allow him to pick the levels and weapons for a multiplayer match. It got so bad that I started having dreams of pixelated versions of him chasing me around The Stacks, cackling like fucking Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura. Uh, yeah. It was weird. But you don’t get recurring dreams full of fail without having put the time in, and holy shit did we ever put the time in. During my last few years of high school, if you went to a buddy’s house you knew to bring your controller. There was no way you weren’t playing Goldeneye. It was just a given. What I think is most remarkable about it all these years later was that the multiplayer in Goldeneye was amazing without having the advantage of internet connectivity. It was the first, and maybe the only, truly great four-guys-on-a-sofa shooter. Other shooters have had that functionality since, but I don’t know if any of them did it as well as Goldeneye. And that’s saying something.
I’m going to be a little bit selfish for a second. This is my last review for this particular countdown, so I wanted to take the opportunity to thank my coworkers at the Newbiverse for all the hard work they’ve done on it, (particularly Gambit, who does more for the site than the rest of us put together), as well as thanking you for taking the time to read these reviews. We’ve spent countless hours and many weeks to get to this point, and now that the finish line is in sight we can start thinking about what’s next. We’ve got some phenomenal stuff in the hopper for you, and we’re all excited about it. It’s going to be good. So thank you, enjoy the rest of the countdown, and I’ll be seeing you all again quite soon. As for Goldeneye, we’ll leave it with a well-earned 5 out of 5. Anybody that has ever played it knows that is absolutely justified.
Also, check out this awesome watch!!